Why Do Most Marriages Fail?
By
Roughly 50% of all marriages fail and many of those dont even make it past the first year. Understanding why these marriages fail can be key to ensuring that your own marriage does not fail. Some factors that contribute to the failure of a marriage include a lack of communication or poor communication, financial issues and even the circumstances of the marriage. All of these issues can exist in a healthy and enduring marriage but if they are not dealt with properly they can lead to the failure of the marriage.
Communication is critical to the success of a marriage. Without proper communication, conflict resolution becomes a difficult issue. If the couple lacks the communication skills necessary to resolve their problems, then even the smallest problems will become insurmountable. Communication allows a relationship to grow and thrive by giving the partners an opportunity to share their dreams, concerns, hopes and desires with each other. Without sharing in this way a couple will not grow as close together as possible. Communication also gives the couple a healthy way to resolve their arguments.
If one or both partners lack effective communications skills it becomes difficult to resolve arguments because the couple is not able to understand each others points of view.
If the marriage is already in trouble, both partners in the marriage must be dedicated to working on their communication skills in order to improve or salvage their marriage. The absence of effective communication techniques can lead to the failure of a marriage.
Love may conquer all but sometimes even love isnt enough to save a marriage when there are significant financial concerns. While financial concerns in and of themselves may not be the cause of a failed marriage the tension that financial concerns create is often the culprit in a failed marriage. Financial concerns can be a heavy burden to bear and when a couple is struggling to meet their financial obligations, there can be a tremendous amount of pressure in the relationship. This pressure may be enough to destroy an otherwise healthy marriage.
If one of the partners in the marriage becomes obsessed with the marital finances they can begin to neglect other aspects of the marriage. This neglectful behavior has the affect of making the spouse feel ignored and lonely which can be damaging to a marriage. Often one of the partners will become consumed with the financial affairs and this can be very damaging to a marriage.
Even the circumstances surrounding the marriage can lead to its failure. A marriage of convenience is often not a healthy marriage. When the decision to marry is based on something other than true love, it is likely that the marriage will fair. Some examples of marriage circumstances that often lead to failure are getting married because there is a baby on the way or because the couple is feeling pressure to get married by friends and family members. Neither of these reasons are truly valid reasons for marriage and often leads to divorce. When a couple marries for reasons other than true love the marriage is often doomed before it starts.
Marrying too young is another reason why many marriages fail. While the right age to marry varies greatly depending on the person, many people argue that the teens and early twenties are too early to get married. Getting married before you have had a chance to enjoy many of lifes experiences can result in resentfulness in the marriage and can be the cause of failure of the marriage.
Another reason why many marriages fail is that society no longer places importance on the institution of marriage. Today it is common for couples to live together and have children without being married. This degeneration of society devalues marriage and results in a higher percentage of failed marriages. With so little value placed on marriage in todays society, couples are not committed to making their marriage work and are often quick to give up on the marriage and each other.
Many marriages today are doomed before they even start. Marriage is no longer seen as a necessary step in a relationship so many couples are quick to divorce without making an honest effort to resolve their problems. Communication breakdown, financial difficulties as well as circumstances of the marriage are all problems that can cause many marriages to fail.
T J Madigan
http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/why-do-most-marriages-fail-112040.html
20 Comments
May 22nd, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Why do most marriages fail in your opinion?
What are some things to look out for before you get married?
May 22nd, 2010 at 6:22 pm
Lack of communication, immaturity and inability to compromise.
And they get married without knowing the person really well, or they think they can "change" the other person.
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:24 pm
i would say look out for someone that wants to marry you. that would highly suspect.
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:26 pm
Don’t get married to soon or it will end soon, and because of money, caught cheating, I’m sure theres other reasons. Hope i helped! (:
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:28 pm
Because they most of the time are miss lead. If a person truly loves another it will work. However, most of the time they are in it for there own gain….
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Well one thing I think is that (at least for America) everyone enters marriage thinking if anything goes wrong they can always get a divorce. If you start something thinking that it’s going to fail you creating a self fulfilling prophecy. I really hate America for that. It’s so easy that everyone has got it as a back-up plan.
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:32 pm
Lack of communication if people would just say what they were feeling and thinking everything would be better
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:34 pm
They fail because too many people rush into it without thinking things out properly. They’re more in love with the idea of marriage than they are with the person they’re with (but don’t realize it because they rushed into it). Too many people see it as just ‘the thing to do’ and don’t wanna be left out when all their other friends/family are doing it. Also people have too many hidden agendas in relationships these days. That’s why the average marriage nowadays last about 5 years or less.
Also, people too often believe stuff they see in the movies or on tv.
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:36 pm
i think they fail because one of the two getting married don’t really love the other one..maybe they get married for the wrong reason.such as having children or to get out of there parents house..maybe it is easier to get married than stay single and face all the bills alone..rent. lights.etc..beware of people who want to get married almost as soon as they meet you, beware of women or men who do not want to take the birth control..even if the woman says she is not the pill..never take that for 100% value..she could be lying or she could simply for get one day and wham..here’s your child.and then marriage may just come up and wham before you know your talked into it.before of some one who always has to have all your attention..they could be insecure and those are the ones who try to trap a partner..I could go on and on.i seen a lot of thing that women and men do..just telling you the women.because your a male avatar
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:38 pm
Controlling, passive aggressive, "I don’t give a sh*t about anyone but ME" attitudes.
That’s what you need to look out for, and if you come upon one, run far and run fast.
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:40 pm
Mature love and friendship must be there, or the marriage will almost certainly fail. Sex is NOT love, I repeat: sex is NOT love. It is nature’;s WAY to reproduce the specie is only. If you are mildy attracted to someone, but they treat you like gold, and you treat them the same, Sex will be very satisfying. Have great looks, be sexy but a terribly selfish and nasty person, np one will want to go to bed with you indefinitely.
People are rarely really great fiends, and without that sincere and ho9nest best friends type of caring, marriages fail or stay dull and lacking caring.
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:42 pm
My marriage almost failed because of lies. I was completely honest and he lied. If a marriage isnt built on truth, among other things, it wont work
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:44 pm
Lack of communication, the inability to compromise, marrying for the wrong reasons, lack of real attraction, money problems. My ex married me because he liked the way I looked and just about nothing else and I liked the fact that he made good money. He also thought I was stupid and I thought he was boring.
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:46 pm
That both of you share similar goals.
That you both like and love the person…the love bit can wear off after 3 or 4 years and you are left with someone you can’t stand. List his/her qualities…are these the ones you most admire?
Are you both tolerant? Are you willing to compromise? Is the other party willing to do so , too?
Are you both selfish? Or is only one party selfish? Such a partnership is doomed unless the unselfish person is willing to constantly give way.
Do you share similar values?
Can you see you both in 10/20 years? Do you think you will be together?
Marriages fail because people in love gloss over the characteristics of the person they are going to marry.
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Marrital texts and life experience
May 22nd, 2010 at 6:48 pm
Because people get bored with one another. Hate to say it but its like Christmas morning when you have that new toy and you play with it like its the best thing in the world. The next month its sitting in the basement because it’s new excitement wore off. This is why people cheat and fall out of love because its not new anymore. Perhaps the real problem is monogamy doesn’t work in real life. The only reason old people stayed together in the past is because women were financially dependent on men and needed to survive. Now that women have their own money and jobs what do they need men for. If you look at the marriages that do work the #1 reason is they have lots of money. When you have money you can consume and take vacations to deal with the boredom of being with the same person.
My tips for making a marriage work is:
-First don’t get married.
-Ok for some reason if you do have to get married make sure you have lots of money. Money is the #1 reason why couples fight.
-Be done with school and have a good paying job.
-Sow your wild oats when you are younger and only get married when you are older. Nothing worst that a 40 year old in strip clubs and cheating just because he didn’t do it early in his life.
-If you do get married put the time in. Marriage takes alot of work just like anything in life.
-Try to spice things up by having different kinds of sex and doing different things.
-Make sure you date your spouse. Go to different festivals, concerts, restaurants, hiking. Do anything different to keep things fresh.
-Stay in shape and healthy for your spouse. Staying in shape shows you still care about your spouse.
References :
http://www.lovegevity.com/marriage/expertadvice/makingmarriagework.html
http://www.ehow.com/how_4449604_make-marriage-work.html
May 22nd, 2010 at 6:50 pm
well mostly on cheating or being unhappy in theie love life
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:52 pm
I think a lot of marriages fail when they’re based on reason. Like he got her pregnant while still very young, because they already have 1,2,3 … kids together and thought they needed to be "officially" a family now, because of money (like better taxes in some countries), because they’re were good friends and always got along or whatsoever. Marriage should be based on Love in the first place. Those marriages that are only based on love, without trying to give reasons why they should get married, even if its 6 months after they have met for the first time, are in my opinion most likely to last the longest.
Sure there are other factors that become important, like i.e. trust and compromise that are necessary to make a marriage work.
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:54 pm
Based on many of the questions I see here on YA and my own experience, it’s lack of communication. People don’t seem to share even the most basic of feelings/thoughts with their partners and it ends up getting nasty.
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:56 pm
infidelity
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May 22nd, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Lots of reasons. Mostly reasons that people put up with from each other that they shouldn’t. Love is blind, deaf and dumb. Lust is mistaken for chemistry. Mutual trust, admiration and respect are out the window when a person’s top priorities are looks and money. Here are some things your should look out for:
No such thing as love at first sight. Instant Chemistry, yes. Real love grows.
Story inconsistencies (liars)
Drug/Drinking abuse
Mental/emotional illness (depressed, quick to anger)
Cheaters/secretly spoken for
Immaturity(fear of commitment, selfishness)
Players
Lack of kindness/compassion for others (parental issues)
If you don’t feel 150% happier when your sweety is next to you and you don’t feel angels from heaven touching you when you make love, that’s a red flag. Re-think this person.
Always, always, always take time to get to know your partner in all situations and with all of the friends and family of this person. When you have formed a bond so strong that you can see yourself HAPPILY growing old with this person no matter what, you are ready for marriage.
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