3 Ways to Effective Communication in you Marriage
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All marriages will have communication problems once in a while. But when poor communication with your spouse becomes a chronic problem, all aspects of your life together can be affected. Read on for some simple communication techniques for common communication issues.
Honesty
Speaking honestly and openly with your spouse may be the most important factor to effective communication. The lack of which may be one of the most basic causes behind conflicts. Before you start to blame your spouse for not being open and honest, take a look at your communication habits. Do you ever:
-Tell your spouse what you think they want to hear just to end the argument?
-Avoid bringing up an issue that’s important to you because it makes your spouse uncomfortable?
-Not ask for what you want directly, instead hoping that they will “figure it out?”
Listening
There is a difference between waiting for your spouse to make a point before you These are just a few of the common communication pitfalls that prevent honest and productive discussions from happening. By avoiding the real issues, for whatever the reason, you are not being honest with your spouse and you are cheating yourself from resolving the problem. Not only will this cause more problems in the future, but you will both feel unsatisfied and you can be sure the argument will surface again. Honest communication means discussing an issue with maturity and respect.
contradict it and actually trying to understand what they are saying. You can’t expect your spouse to take the time to listen to you if you don’t do the same for them. Encourage your spouse to open up to you – and understand that you may have to make the first move. Offering to let your spouse talk first while you listen may help them understand your commitment to a productive conversation. Give feedback as they talk and try to summarize what they have said to make sure you really understand where they are coming from. Your patience and understanding will pay off as they show you the same respect when it’s your turn to open up.
Practice
Once you’ve found what communication tactics work – use them. It may take a while to find out what methods work best, but I bet you already know what doesn’t work. Start with identifying those tactics that don’t get you anywhere; whether it’s be yelling, ignoring, or avoiding the issue. Talk with your spouse and make a resolution to identify and stop the unhealthy and unproductive communication tactics that are restricting you from effective, productive communication. And don’t be afraid to try new communication tactics. Marriage takes a lot of work and practice makes perfect.
For more information on effective communication and conflict resolution, visit http://www.marriagemax.com
Kausik Dutta
http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/3-ways-to-effective-communication-in-you-marriage-121048.html
5 Comments
February 24th, 2010 at 4:51 pm
I need tips on marriage and Communication?
As a married couple what are some things you do that are effective ways you communicate with your spouse. In an argument how do you resolve?
February 24th, 2010 at 9:53 pm
If the argument is too heated take a minute from it or words may be spoken that you can’t take back with hurt feelings left. This may sound silly, but I vent in a notebook. And my hubby reads it when I’m done writing. We have kids so I try to avoid getting loud and crazy to I retreat, give him space and take mine to cool off and write about what’s going on my feelings on it etc. This has been pretty effective for us and he has now started writing too. It gives me more insight to him as well and things he normally wouldn’t voice outloud. Hope this helps! good luck!
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February 24th, 2010 at 9:55 pm
When we let our emotions take over, we usually take a break from the discussion. We both will write each other a letter, and then we’ll read it to one another. It helps us get everything off our chest in a reasonable, respectful way & it prevents us from holding back what we’re really feeling.
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February 24th, 2010 at 9:57 pm
The silent treatment seems to be a popular choice.
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February 24th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
I am not sure how long you have been married and that does make a difference in communication with your spouse. I have been married close to fifteen years now and I can say that we communicate better now. We did get married young, but when we were first married things I did not notice while we were dating were so annoying. We were younger and could go all night arguing as well as do the 0 communication thing for days. I think things really changed for us after the first two years mainly because you pick your battles and ask yourself if something is really worth the argument. You begin to realize it is so much more gratifying getting along with the person you chose to spend the rest of you life with than always being right. I also no longer kid myself and think he should just know what I am thinking because it will never happen….your spouse no matter how close you are can always know what you are thinking (even when you think it is SO obvious).
My advice would be to be assertive, but also communicate effectively without placing blame on your spouse. When you place blame on him/her or bring up past arguments to tack on to the current conversation, they will feel the need to defend themselves and not listen to what you have to say.
Best of luck to you in your marriage and remember it is always a work in progress, but should never feel like work.:)
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