Relationship communication and the power of open communication
A relationship without open communication will inevitably give way to deception. There is no grey area. It is better to hurt another with open communication than to betray with deception. You will find that even the act of open communication prevents deeds that would normally be performed under the veil of dishonesty.
A relationship is a gentle lowering of individuality or Ego. A free flow of ideas, perceptions even insecurities should come to the surface and be discussed. In the ideal environment, no taboo or perceived craziness is outside the limit of open discussion. All taboos are society’s programming anyway- which is far from open at the present time. Even governments and companies have not recognized the power of open communication with their people.
To suddenly start being open after a long period of hiding is far more difficult than being open on a regular basis. But inevitably this line has to be crossed, and accepted. An environment suitable for revealing all is the first stage of open communication. Both parties must be willing to hear anything and refrain from allowing their Ego to jump into the fray; to judge, feel hurt or angry.
Next comes regularity. At first the impulse to be dishonest “in order to protect someone” will be strong. This is the first stage of dishonesty that is justified has being beneficial to the other person. Slowly this nurtures roots of deeper deception. If the root is cut while it is young and even little white lies are absorbed by the light of open communication – no lie can ever grow.
Does this mean one can share all thoughts, all ideas, or beliefs with anyone? It should. For now you’d get locked up or thrown into an institution as a madman. But there will come a time when society’s contract with dishonesty and illusion gives way to a deeper understanding of open communication. In the meantime there can be a selective agreement of open communication between a single couple, a single family, a single company and it’s employees, between a single government and it’s people before finally the whole world accepts the idea as norm.
Everyone may not like the idea at first, preferring to hang on to the perceived power that comes through lying. It is they who will prefer to go to war when the truth has been set free. Granted, there is a fine line between loose lips that sink ships and open communication in the spirit of greater love between two enlightened individuals. Open communication does not mean running the mouth like a loose cannon. It means selectively choosing your words in a way that will bring about greater harmony between yourself and another party. And avoiding the acts that would disrupt that harmony whenever possible. And in the rare cases where a controversial decision must be made in haste and a decision was made in error, it can quickly be discussed, accepted and learned from.
Most great tragedies begin with a small deception that gets cultivated over time. If you can learn to be open even when on the surface it appears that it will not serve you, over time you become the person that can always be depended on for the truth. And because the truth is a power sought from the depths of every Soul- anyone who possesses it will hold a position of great power. Respected, admired and even revered for their sincerity, and openness even in times when the truth is unpopular and their name risks being tarnished- they rise above the primitive contract of society and peer into a new world waiting on the horizon.
James Stinson
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/the-power-of-open-communication-63195.html
Michael Noone is the publisher of http://www.topcommunicationskills.com an online resource for communications skills training for use with your relationships, family,friends and in your business…
How to Have Better Communication Listening Skills.
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From early on in school we have been taught that listening skills are an important part of how to communicate. It is natural for humans to use listening skills to build communication skills.
Babies learn to speak through listening. We learn about things we do not know about through listening. So having effective listening skills can make you able to communicate better. You can learn how to communicate better through listening skills if you know the basics about listening.
The following four sections explain the key points to being a good listener and why they are important to communication listening.
1. Use body language to show you are listening.
Not only will body language show you are listening, but it will also help you to listen better. If you move closer you can hear better and not be distracted as easily. If you maintain eye contact you will be less likely to be distracted by something you see around you.
Also avoid fidgeting as this can show your lack of interest or that you are getting bored.
2. Repeating back parts of what someone has said to you shows them you listened.
It also helps you to comprehend what was said better. If you misunderstood this will let the speaker know and then it can be clarified. You also show you are interested by taking their words and repeating them back. It shows you were really focused on what they said.
3. Focus on the person speaking.
You should be giving you undivided attention to the person speaking. This means you are not looking for something in your purse, glancing around the room or doing some other task during a conversation.
If you are even slightly distracted you may miss something the person says or be at risk of misunderstanding them.
4. Do not interrupt the person speaking.
You should hear the other person out and wait for a break in the conversation to ask questions or express your point of view. Interrupting only shows you are more interested in your own thoughts than theirs.
These tips basically cover the ways to be a good listener. There are various takes on what is required to be a good listener. Some qualities vary depending on the situation you are in. These tips are based for those in a casual situation, such as at a party.
You should always do your best to be a good listener. If someone knows you never really listen then they will be less likely to want to talk to you again.
Try not to ignore what is said and show your interest and your communication listening skills will come across. Knowing how to communicate better through listening skills will make you an overall better comunicator and someone people want to talk to.
Peter Murphy
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/how-to-communicate-better-with-superior-listening-skills-10296.html
There are 12 barriers to effective communication that destroys any type of relationship. Be sure to overcome these roadblocks if you want happy relationships.
1. Criticizing. Criticism involves judgmental states that usually put down a person. “Don’t do it that way”, “You’re wrong”, “You’re not very good at…”, and “You need to lose weight” are a few simple criticisms. We think criticism changes people, though it only reveals our own problems. Kill this barrier before it kills your relationships.
2. Labeling. Labels are names. An extreme form of labels is name-calling. “You’re a jerk”, “You are silly”, and “I think you’re mean” are some examples of labeling. Labeling is a barrier to communication because it categorizes people. It assumes people to have characteristics and destroys uniqueness that makes an enjoyable relationship.
3. Diagnosing. A diagnosis is one of the more complex barriers to effective communication. It involves reading into a person’s behavior. I call it “playing the amateur psychologist”. Some examples of the diagnosing barrier are: “You’re just jealous about…”, “You need to be happier”, and “Stop trying to antagonize me.”
4. Praising. People are always surprised when they hear praise is a communication barrier. Praise is not always a barrier because it depends on how it is given. Praise is so often poorly given as it makes people – especially children – dependent on receiving verbal rewards. “You’re a good boy”, “I love you for doing what you did”, and “You’re a lovely person because you think about me”. Learn to praise a person’s behavior, and be specific, to avoid evaluative praise and making people dependent on your praise.
5. Ordering. Orders are controlling statements to get people doing something. They are akin to dictatorship. “Go wash the dishes”, “Stop complaining”, and “Stop fighting with…” Orders force people to comply based on authoritative power. The result is resistant change and resentment. It is very common for people to rebel against orders so they regain their freedom. Psychologists call this “psychological reactance”.
6. Threatening. A threat is similar to an order, except it has emphasis on punishment. “Go wash the dishes or I won’t cook for you tomorrow night”, “Stop complaining or you’ll be sent to your room”, “Stop fighting with… or you’ll be grounded”. Just like orders, threats create fear, temporary results, and resentment – while killing a relationship.
7. Questioning. How could questioning be a barrier to effective communication? Like praise, there are types of questioning that make it a roadblock to good relationship communication. Rhetorical questions is one common form of poor questioning. Examples include, “Why do you disobey me?” “Why do you always do wrong?” and “What about my needs? You constantly ignore them.”
These are 7 of 12 barriers to effective communication. When you overcome all 12 barriers to effective communication, you communicate openly, intimately, understand you’re partner – all the while creating change in your relationships.
Joshua Uebergang
http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/12-barriers-to-effective-communication-beware-of-these-relationship-killers-752778.html
Enhance your Business Communication Skills
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(Say What You Mean and Get What You Want!)
Great business communication skills requires learning to say exactly what you
mean and saying it in a way to get a desired outcome that is beneficial for both
the business contact and your home based business. Many times we send cross
signals in our communications because we ourselves are not completely sure how
to convey our thoughts properly. We know what we want to say but are unable to
get the correct wording in order to get the your point across.
Enhancing our business communication skills has numerous advantages in all
aspects of our home based business from negotiations to routine business
conversations. Your bottom line will increase more by getting the desired
outcome that you want. Whether it is better pricing from a manufacturer or
handling a disgruntled customer you will notice that the results will be more
favorable for your home based business.
* Tips for Effective Communication:
* Have a Main Objective
* Be Prepared for Objections
* Consider the Benefits for All Parties
* Emphasize the other Party’s Benefits
* Keep if Friendly
* Be Prepared to Walk Away
Know Your Main Objective
What is the ultimate result you would like to achieve from the conversation,
negotiation or advertising? What I have found to be very helpful is to get as
many facts as possible. Information gathering is essential for creating your
main objective as well as gaining better business communication skills. Once you
have the main objective in mind, create a mental picture of it or write it down
so that you can stay focused.
If you have a disgruntled customer, find out exactly what the problem is. Keep
asking questions until you know for sure that you completely understand the
situation. Then you can figure out what solutions would work best for the
customer and for your home based business.
When you know what your objective is for all situations you will have a clear
direction to follow in order to achieve your ultimate goal. The goal may be to
create a satisfied customer expectations of repeat sales, negotiating a lower
product price with a manufacturer, or creating an advertising campaign. As you
can see effective business communication skills will increase your home based
business bottom line.
Prepare for Objections
Whether it is customer service or negotiating with a manufacturer etc., you will
need to expect objections. When you are prepared for them even if they never
arise, it will open your mind to all the aspects of the situation and will give
you a clearer perspective. When you can see all the sides of a situation, you
will make wiser decisions and be able to point out the advantages for the other
party.
What are the Benefits for All Parties?
Knowing what the benefits are for all parties concerned will help you explain
them more effectively. In advertising you would list the benefits of your
product or service in the advertisement. In customer service you would list the
benefits of the solution to your customer, bearing in mind what would be the
best outcome for both parties.
Emphasize the Benefits
Armed with a list of benefits, you will be able to explain the best benefits and
advantages for the other party. With all the information on the table your
business contact will be able to see the advantages of the subject matter and
how they can benefit from your proposal. You will then be able to conclude the
conversation easily since you have achieved your main objective with all parties
satisfied.
Keep if Friendly
There will be times when no matter how good your business communication skills
are, the other party just does not recognize the possibilities or want to work
with you. That is fine, there will be customers who you cannot satisfy,
negotiations that cannot be made and business contacts that will not be able to
see your point of view.
If you keep it friendly you will increase the chances that they will listen to
you in the future. This will leave the option of further contact open, whether
it is a call, coming back to the negotiating table or for other business
opportunities.
Be Prepared to Walk Away
Great business communication skills also entail knowing and realizing that
situations will arise that the other party may not be receptive to any part of
your main objective. In those rare instances it is better to end the
conversation politely and move on. Sometimes the other party may be having a bad
day or is distracted and what ever you say will fall on deaf ears. This happens
to all of us. Realizing and recognizing that the other parties’ business
communication skills are off that day will help you to end the conversation
quickly and renew it on anther day when it is more appropriate.
Effective communication will help you in your home based business by creating an
atmosphere of understanding and cooperation. Another aspect of business
communication skills includes learning to listen better. In my article; “What
did You Say?” I discuss ways to become a better listener.
Tips for effective communication are a quick guideline which you can follow to
stay on course in all your business dealings. Each day there will be numerous
opportunities to use effective communication skills. Your home based business
depends on your business communication skills for growth, development and
advancement in your chosen field.
Paul Kopp
http://www.articlesbase.com/home-business-articles/enhance-your-business-communication-skills-87841.html
What is the best way to handle conflict? Your mother told you not to hit anyone, and your dad said don’t you dare run. When you enter the workforce and you face a conflict situation, what choices do you have? In real life, we cannot beat up our opponents. If we do, we might find ourselves in custody. Some of us do decide to “get even,” which often isn’t the best choice either. If we “turn tail and run,” we kill our self-confidence.
I offer one more choice. Communicate. Conflict occurs “When two or more people occupy the same space at the same time, but there’s room for only one.” As a middle child, I can relate to that definition. No matter which particular space I wanted to occupy, one of my sisters claimed it. Whining, complaining, punching didn’t alter that reality. As an adult, I can see situations of conflict arising every day. The space might not be the window seat, but it might be the office with the window. The space might also be a philosophical view. When two people collide over ideologies, they hold a mental space that only they can occupy.
How can we resolve conflict through communication? I’ve created a method of communication, the Say It Just Right Model that can help us. This practical model will help you communicate your way out of conflict.
The Say It Just Right Model has three components:
The Three C’s
Change. Recognize that change happens within you. You cannot change other people. Once you recognize this very important fact, you will stop trying to impose your will on others. What you want to do is say what you want to say, listen to the other point of view with an open mind, and then move on. The other person must decide to change.
Curiosity. Enter the conflict situation with a genuine interest and curiosity. When you come into the conversation acting as if you have all the answers, how can you discover what the other person is thinking? Use your natural born curiosity to discover what prompted someone to do something or what prompts them to want something.
Compassion. By putting yourself in the other person’s place, you discover what it feels like to be that person. What is going on in their mind? What concerns, values, interests occupy their time?
The Decision Points
Before deciding to enter into a conflict discussion, you must consider three components.
What are the Costs? When you look at costs, you examine what you will gain by having the conversation and what you might lose by not having the conversation. You want to look at these issues realistically. Will you really lose your job if you confront your boss over a disagreement? Will your marriage end because you want your spouse to do more work around the house? How important is it to you to directly confront this behavior? If you do not confront the behavior, will it happen again?
What are the Limits? Where are you going to draw the line? Before you go into a conflict conversation, you want to make sure you are clear about what you will accept and what you will not accept. In other words, what concessions are you willing to make? Where is your line in the sand?
What are the Power Sources? Power comes in many shapes and sizes. Just because you are the subordinate does not mean you hold no power. Think about the power you do hold and the power the other person holds. How can you use your power to your advantage? How can you emphasize your assets?
Personality Overlay
How people respond to you depends a lot on their personality style. Here are some tips for dealing with four typical personality styles.
Aggressor: Be direct yourself. Know what you want to say and say it quickly. Do not respond defensively when they attack. Remember they attack everyone. In this instance you must have very clear limits.
Persuader: Allow them to talk. Ask open questions that get them talking about the problem or issue at hand. In this instance you will want to show a lot of curiosity. Be open and listen.
Fact-Finder: Give them facts and data that support your position. Be as direct as you would with the aggressor, but in a clear and orderly way. In this instance, you will want to make the Power Sources real clear. It helps if you can discover a mutual goal—something you both wish to accomplish.
Listener: Share openly what your concerns are. They will listen to you. Your job is to listen to them with compassion. Show them the same compassion they show you. Do not end the conflict with a mutual apology without a resolution.
Now that you have thought through the Decision Points and you have decided the type of personality you are dealing with, you are ready to conduct the Say It Just Right conversation with the Three C’s in mind.
Joan Curtis
http://www.articlesbase.com/business-articles/no-punching-no-running8212communicate-how-to-resolve-conflict-746728.html
Becoming a better listener
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how to become a better listener, with these two simple tips
Duration : 2 min 17 sec
Improving Your Relationship For Dummies
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Your essential guide to being happy with your partner. Whether you want to work through tiresome niggles, iron out potential issues before taking the next step, cope with serious problems, or simply fortify your partnership against the ups and downs of daily life, this manual provides all the expert advice and practical support you need.
Duration : 2 min 47 sec
The Link Between Good Communication And Success
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The Link Between Good Communication And Success
Duration : 2 min 50 sec
Improve Communication, Increase Success Part 1
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http://www.mikestenger.com
Communication is an everyday part of everyday life. Without it, things would be very hard for you and I.
In knowing some of the issues people face when it comes to communication effectively, I decided to make this little 2 part series to help you become a better communicator.
Hope this helps!
Duration : 8 min 43 sec
Essay 2 Video Project
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This is a video project for my Interpersonal Communication class.
Duration : 20 min 24 sec